"Interview" with Segway Man

trackerati.com gets to the bottom of the Segway fiasco

trackerati: How are you liking your new digs in Outer Mongolia?

Segman: Well, I didn’t know it was possible to get here so fast!

trackerati: We didn’t know there still was a Chinese Gulag.

Segman: There wasn’t! They made one just for me.

trackerati: How long do you expect to stay?

Segman: How long have you got?

trackerati: That’s not the question. How long have you got?

Segman: (blank stare)

trackerati: So, why did you take out Bolt?

Segman: I was just trying to get a great pic of him.

trackerati: Did you?

Segman: It’s a lovely photo, really, except his feet are in the air.

trackerati: If only you had knocked over Justin Gatlin instead, The Guardian would have paid for your new life in Great Britain.

Segman: So that’s who was screaming at me saying I hit the wrong guy!